The following tips are of course meant for the single closet geek, because naturally all the married ones have “caves” already and have no need to subtly position their belongings in such a manner as to not overwhelm potential partners, because frankly, you probably already do. So for you married/in relationship folks, scroll down, because I have a treatise on Unicorns you may enjoy.
So you’re looking for a place to live…
We’ve all been there. Our parents’ basement starts to get too confining, your significant other made you choose between your video game collection and him/her, or you simply just need more space for your Legos. I understand and I’m here to help.
These tips should be taken for what they are- Tips. These are not rules or regulations, nor should they be followed point by point, as everyone’s situation can vary and I’d hate for you to end up having a walk-in closet for all your high-heels if you only have tennis shoes and flip flops.
Let us begin…
#1: Location, Location, Location…
A. It should be close to the required locations: a convenience store (for midnight Mt. Dew), your local comic/gaming shop (bus/driving distance) and near a “cool hang-out spot” for cover on Friday/Saturday nights. Being close to work or family is a consideration, but not that important.
B. It should have a pool. Who doesn’t like pools?
C. Ample parking for all your gaming buddies who’ll need to quiet down after rolling 4xCrit on the Mighty Dragon of Zyzamoth- it was all luck…
D. Avoid places with college students (hazing), old people (holiday fruit cakes) or those that plan nefarious deeds (He who shall not be named)
E. It should have a pool.
#2: Interior Layout
A. Avoid upper floor apartments for when D&D and drinking is involved (see: featherfall)
B. If you cannot afford a two-bedroom apartment, then you should at least have a suitable closet in which to store your plethora (I heart that word) of Magic cards. Optionally, you could use the 5000 count boxes as a coffee table, but remember- we’re closet geeks here…
C. The dining room should be large enough to hold a table that can be converted into a battlefield at a moments notice, possibly using a double sided tablecloth (the reverse side being a grid-map). As well, the much needed computer desk should be placed here, available at a moments notice.
D. The living room should be large enough for a ample flat-screen TV, the new R2-D2 Xbox (oh yes, it will be mine…) and a couch juuuuust small enough so your potential girlfriend has to snuggle during Fringe.
*yes, neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named, that was a good idea…*
E. Your furnishings should be Geek Chic, but try to avoid, if you can, bringing the large cable spool with you. Small amounts of art, such as the Gentle Giant Darth Talon statue, is encouraged to slowly acclimate your visitors to the fact that you are, in fact, a geek.
#3: The Bedroom (bow-chicka-boww-wow)
A. This is your room friend! Anything goes- this IS your apartment after all, so break out that Star Wars comforter your mom made, hang your figures on the walls and get that darth vader lightsaber night light plugged in!
B. Realize, with said comforter,figures and nightlight, you will probably not “get any”, so keep in mind the couch in the living room…which is much too small…
Nooooo!!!! Damn you, He who shall not be named!!!!
Hopefully these small tips help some, and for the other folks, here is the part about the Unicorns….
In my book, the Unicorns are carnivorous….Oh yeah- these ain’t your mama’s sparkly Unicorns buddy!
Till next time, when hopefully I’ve pulled a fellow Geek-ette out of her own closet to join me for a little discussion on something we haven’t decided yet.
Till next time!
-TGiYC (Don’t forget to like my page on Facebook and share the love!)
I keep my Darth Vader Lightsaber Night Light in my pants….
Sweet redesign, by the way! It’s much cleaner
Does my dragon collection count? I even have one that lights up and changes colors.. Oh and a Roman dagger with a sheath.. *frowns* Had to let go of my two broad swords since I had no where to hang them.